jokes

Found this link on The Register today, http://uktv.co.uk/dave/stepbystep/aid/605477

hahaha..very funny...

i just bought my own house....really i should have bought someone elses!

apparently the swayze family are more upset today, keith floyd, the guy they hired to do the catering, has passed away too....................(relevance for uk residents only, KF was a chef.)

"Woman wakes up in hospital after her fanny tuck operation to find three bouquets of flowers next to her bed.The first from the surgeon for a successful operation,the second from her husband to show his love and the third from fred on the burns ward to say thanks for the new ears"

hahahah :D this one was great

i saw one of those guys who wear a sandwich board in the street and this guy's one was blank so i asked him, "why is there no writing on there"? He said, "it was his day off"!

Why do they use sterilized needles when they execute death row inmates?

love these...keep'em coming

What is a calorie? Calories are the little bastards that get into you're wardrobe at night and sew you're cloths tighter while you're asleep.
MY WARDDROBE IS INFESTED WITH THE LITTLE SHITS.

i went speed dating once but only women with burkhas turned up, not easy, all i could say was "nice eyes"!